January 6, 2008

CALIFORNIA STARLET'S PREGNANCY CONFIRMED!

In spite of repeated denials of pregnancy, Briar went into seclusion today after reportedly developing cramps after swimming in the crystal blue waters of the remote luxury spa at which she has been secretly residing. Her agent, after some hounding, did confirm that Briar had delivered a litter of 7 very large puppies ranging in weight from 13.5 to 16.25 oz.

Upon questioning about the rumor that Briar had actually had eight puppies but one was born dead due to her mother's excessive partying and probable substance abuse during her pregnancy, her agent had no further comment. There was, likewise, no comment from the agent of the reputed father of the litter, C-Fed.

Shriek photographers have not rested one moment, since hearing the announcement, in order to obtain for you, the loyal reading public, these exclusive photographs of Briar and her new brood: Aloha, Gidget, The Big Kahuna, Moondoggie (the lone boy), Pilgrim, Welcome and Wendy Crystal Sky.

March 30, 2008

Welcome goes home

Welcome has gone to her new home. She will be registered as WayOut's Most Ingenious Paradox and will be living near enough to her beloved mama to visit on occasion.

March 4, 2008

The Puppies Pack Their Bags

Briar's puppies will soon be graduating from Comrade Kit's Camp For Kids in Outer Siberia.  They have enjoyed their lessons with Comrade Kit, Nanny Tassel, Young Comrade Caboose and the Blessed Shmoo. Comrade Kit is pleased with their progress and is quite sure they will be assets to her Revolutionary Plans.  Their poor mother Briar is reportedly due to be released from Rehab any day now. Hopefully, she will manage to get her career back on track without any more wobbles on her way to fame and fortune!

Aloha, sadly, still has not mastered the art of stacking. She will need to stay close and attend evening classes until she learns to do better than this.  Aloha will be officially known as BosWOrth's Touch Of Poetry unless someone changes her mind again.

Kahuna has flown to Colorado where she will continue to wreak havoc with her wild ways.  She will be known as WayOut's Unusual Revelry.

She finds herself bored by talk of careers and thinks she would excel as just a general hooligan.

Moondoggie has gone to Texas where he will be called Atticus and live in fear of wild pigs, scorpions and snakes. His registered name will be WayOut's Modern Major General.

Pilgrim has gone up north and already begun her reign of terror over her younger half siblings. She is now known as Flirt and will be registered as WayOut's Fleeting Pleasure.

Wendy Crystal Sky will be leaving this weekend to go live a life of unimaginable luxury in Rhode Island. Her name will be Anew and she will be registered as WayOut's A-New Easy Wind.

Welcome has decided to turn into Bucky Beaver so her fate is hanging in the balance while she decides if she would maybe like to have her lower jaw catch up with her upper jaw.

February 27 , 2008

The Worst Has Come To Pass (Say It Isn't So):

Lady T Sought For Murder One

In shocking new developments, California police are seeking an extradition order for the Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel, currently residing in Siberia with Comrade Kit and employed as a nanny in her Camp For Kids.  The Daily Shriek has learned from anonymous sources that Tassel is wanted in connection with the Brutal Murder of World Famous Nanny to the Stars, Hello! Kitty. 

The Shriek's source has supplied full details on how the police believe that Nanny Tassel lured Hello! Kitty out into a dark alley under the pretense of showing her a new hair ribbon store and then chewed her face off in a Shocking and Horrific Assault.  When asked what evidence they had to place The Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel at the scene of the crime, they released this photo seemingly showing sadly clear evidence of her guilt.  Shriek experts are, even now, workng to discover whether this photo has been tampered with in order to frame Tassel. 

After the assault, Nanny Tassel allegedly disguised herself as Briar and led the hapless and straying puppies all the way to Siberia.  This explains the photos, such as this one, purportedly showing Briar with her puppies when she has been locked up in rehab all this time.  There has been no comment from the WayOut Commune. There is currently no extradition agreement between California and Outer Siberia.

Briar, or Lady Tassel in disguise?

In between a fast-paced social life and health testing schedule, the puppies continue to enjoy Siberia. Sputnik shows Wendy Crystal Sky his favorite hideout under the porch.  Briar's puppies were BAER tested on Feb. 26. All had normal bilateral hearing except for Wendy Crystal Sky who has unilateral hearing and cannot hear Sputter's instructions in her right ear. 
 

Her left ear works just fine, she says.

Welcome has lost her speckles in the snow. It is doubtful she will be able to find them since the color matches so exactly.

Snow melts rapidly in Siberia.  Kahuna and Aloha take their lessons with Comrade Kit very seriously and practice patrolling the fenceline and repelling intruders.

Pilgrim has been put in detention and must sit still for one full minute.

Moondoggie weeps with sorrow for his poor sister Pilgrim and sits to show his solidarity.

February 16 , 2008

Spartan Siberia Good Training for Indulged, Neglected Pups

Aloha runs.


Kahuna learns the best defense is a good offense.

Moondoggie takes up ballet.

moondoggie

Top, Pilgrim likes to jazzercise.

Bottom, Only Pilgrim occasionally dreams of their poor mother.

pilgrim

Wendy Crystal Sky studies the classics after a full morning of romping.

Wendy Crystal Sky

Welcome studies deportment and etiquette.

welcome

Comrade Kit instructs the puppies so they will be ready when the Revolution comes.
Siberia is such a happy and relaxed place. No stress or worries can intrude here! Any vicious murderers of Hello! Kitty must be left far far behind. Nanny Tassel oversees the playground and watches out for trouble. All is well at WayOut.

February 12 , 2008

The Esteemed Comrade Warmly Welcomes Briar's Puppies

When we last "officially" saw Briar's puppies, they were blossoming under the care of Nanny Hello! Kitty. After the brutal murder of this beloved nanny, the puppies mysteriously vanished leaving no clues as to their whereabouts.  Their mother, languishing in rehab, sobbed her way through the days and yearned for access to illegal substances to take away her worries. Happily, brighter times are on the horizon for our stalwart red (and one lone blue) puppies. The WayOut Commune has released this statement and photos.

Comrade Kit welcomes the neglected offspring of celebrity model Briar into her exclusive and expensive Camp For Kids.  The Young and Sorely Uneducated Puppies have struggled mightily to reach this establishment of higher learning and against great odds have arrived in Greater Siberia and the humble Igloo wherein resides the Learned and Tolerant Comrade Kit who at once welcomed them into her family and proceeded to teach them some manners.

Aloha sniffs out the way.


At first, Welcome wished to be carried across Siberia by Kahuna but they soon straightened matters out.

Moondoggie searches for a sign of hope on the horizon.

moondoggie

Aloha and Pilgrim dash toward the hope of warm food and strong moral foundations.

pilgrim

Wendy Crystal Sky longs for strict rules to guide her life.

Wendy Crystal Sky

Welcome thinks she will give up her Doublemint Twin contract for a new career as a snow blower.

welcome

February 9, 2008

Hello Kitty! found brutally murdered!!

Hello Kitty!, that beloved and ever-so-competent nanny to the stars, was found brutally murdered today.  The authorities, responding to an anonymous tip discovered the famous au pair's remains in a waterfront warehouse.

As exclusively reported last week in the Daily Shriek, Hello Kitty! was last seen absconding from Briar's mansion with a suitcase full of money after the mysterious and still unsolved disappearance of Briar's puppies. 

The authorities reportedly have no leads. Anyone with information regarding either Hello Kitty!'s movements in the last week or the whereabouts of Briar's children is encouraged, nay begged, to contact the appropriate authorities at once!
Warning EXTREMELY GRAPHIC PHOTO!!

Celebrity model Briar's stint in rehab continues this week. According to rehab officials, Briar has not left the premises, no, not once, not even a single time, since her arrival two weeks ago. There is no possible way she could have had any paw in the brutal assault on Hello Kitty!

The Shriek, however, begs to differ.  These exclusive photos, reportedly taken on Feb. 9, clearly show Briar not in rehab and not only that but they show her with her missing children!!  Can the whole "mysterious disappearance" be a fraud?  Does Briar have more smarts than anyone has given her credit for? Has she secretly stashed her puppies in a safe house while she is in rehab??  Longtime readers know: The Shriek WILL discover the truth!

Wendy Crystal Sky annoys her sister Aloha.

Kahuna also annoys her sister Aloha.

Aloha wishes other members of her family to be sent to rehab.

Kahuna eats dirt and plots to annoy her sisters.

Moondoggie bears himself bravely under the burden of his family stress.

He is always a comfort to his sisters even when he hides under the stairs.
 
Pilgrim thinks deep and profound thoughts.

She wishes to study philosophy and avoid the limelight.
 
Briar! Clearly NOT IN REHAB!  hugs her darling Welcome!

Wendy Crystal Sky is up to no good with sister Welcome.
Perhaps their "institutionalized" mother should supervise them more carefully!

Aloha and Welcome, the Welcome sisters, fear they will lose their Doublemint Twin contract now that Welcome has changed her hair color.

Wendy Crystal Sky has decided that her future is in rodeos and practices to be a bucking bronco or maybe she will just annoy her sister Kahuna - or it might be her brother Moondoggie, the good and innocent, who never did anything to deserve such treatment!

January 26, 2008

HUNKY DORY

Since the arrival of their new nanny Hello Kitty!, nothing but peace and comfort has reigned in the home of Celebrity model Briar.  The babies gain strength and confidence daily under the caring and kind tutelage of renowned puppycare professional Hello Kitty!

Puppies participate in regular exercise as seen here where Aloha performs sit ups with her sister Welcome.

 

 

.

Kahuna smiles happily as she rests in comfort among the expensive brocades and velvets.

 

 

Moondoggie dares to open his eyes and look around!

 

 

 

Pilgrim is lost deep in thought as she ponders the sadness of the less fortunate puppies in the world.

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome is cast in the shade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wendy Crystal Sky smirks at the thought of her large trust fund from all her mother's product endorsements.

 

 

 

 

January 11, 2008

PUPPIES ABANDONED!

Briar's puppies were left to their own devices at the tender age of three days old while their mother was out partying all night long according to the Daily Shriek's exclusive sources close to the model. An intimate friend of the family reported that she arrived to deliver a casserole to the new mother and found, instead of a caring and careful mother tending to her babies, a passel of puppies jumping on the bed which was clearly too high of a surface to be safe for such young, blind and clumsy creatures! In constant danger of a tragic fall, the puppies were leaping and playing without a care or supervisory adult in the world! A Green Creature, reputed to be either a cat or a ferret, was posed near the puppies but clearly an inanimate object is no substitute for a watchful mother! The Shriek is horrified to share with the reading public these shocking photos of the puppies in danger!

Upon returning home in the very wee hours of the morning, a visibly intoxicated Briar had no comment for our reporter but did manage to give him a very rude gesture before her publicity agent pulled her into the house.

January 22, 2008

The Return of Hello Kitty!

The Daily Shriek once again has the difficult burden of bringing the shocking truth to the masses.  Celebrity model Briar was seen by many witnesses driving the puppies around completely unrestrained! There were clearly crates and carseats available in her vehicle but the puppies were flopped carelessly down in the front seat and the airbag was not inactiviated!  Narrowly escaping disaster, the puppies were clearly terrified by their dangerous situation!  In fact, it was their first outing since opening their eyes and several of the puppies plainly wished they lacked the ability to see such dangers staring them in the face!!

Upon reaching home, a shattered Kahuna could only sit in the corner and mumble - seeking solace from her pseudo-nanny, the Green Creature. But wait! Who is that off to the side?? Could it possibly be Hello Kitty!, that nanny among nannies, to the rescue??  And if this is Hello Kitty! (and indeed she certainly looks like her old self) then who (or what!!) is minding Comrade Kit's babies???   It must be a rank imposter!

Attempting to take charge immediately, Hello Kitty! sees that the puppies are in desperate need of some discipline as Wendy Crystal Sky leaps upon her happily and bites her heel..

Aloha, unable to stop crying since the near miss with the minivan, wails away. Can Hello Kitty! soothe these traumatized babies?

After mere minutes in Hello Kitty!'s presence, Kahuna rests peacefully - no more will nightmares plague her sleep.

Moondoggie still cannot face the world with his eyes open.

Pilgrim hopes the new nanny will bring lots of milk and cookies for her.

Welcome is delighted to welcome Hello Kitty! to Briar's private compound.

Supported by her sisters Pilgrim and Welcome, even Wendy Crystal Sky adjusts her behavior and learns to appreciate a good nanny.

January 15, 2008

Still managing to scrape by without any meaningful parenting from their flighty mother, who has been constantly in the news linked with one after another reckless young beau, the WayOut-Bosworth puppies remain cheerful.

Aloha and Welcome, the Welcome sisters, hope to make their first break into showbiz as Doublemint Twins.

Aloha dreams of surfboards

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Kahuna dreams of big waves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moondoggie would like it to be noted that, although he is forced to pose near his giant sister Pilgrim, he is not such a tiny puppy as one might think - sister Pilgrim is Giant!

Moondoggie is quite sure he could be considered quite a normal sized puppy in any other family and wishes for his adoption papers to go through as soon as possible!

Pilgrim dreams of palm trees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome rocks gently on the waves.

 

 

 

 

Wendy Crystal Sky has started contract negotiations with her agent.

 

 

 

 

January 12, 2008

The Shriek has nothing but bad news to report about Celebrity Model Briar's puppies.  Still struggling with a sad lack of personal responsibility, Briar has been seen out on the town every night and far into the morning while her children, presumbably completely unsupervised, struggle along on their own. Far be it for the Shriek to make any comparisons but it is our considered opinion that even a pretend Hello Kitty! Nanny, such as the one currently masquerading at the WayOut Commune under Comrade Kit's "watchful" eyes, is better than no nanny at all.

The Big Giant Hand certainly gets around. Here it is also terrorizing Darling Aloha. Ever game, however, she lunges upwards in an attempt to apprehend it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Big Kahuna sleeps through the uproar.

 

 

 

 

Moondoggie cannot be bothered to come to his dear sister's assistance as he feels that will take him too far from the milkbar and, as he is the smallest puppy, he needs to stick close to the source of food and eat at every opportunity.

Pilgrim understands about eating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome is horrified to see a photographer when neither her hair is done nor her makeup on. She turns her face to the wall and closes her eyes tight and hopes to remain unobserved.

 

 

In perils all her own, Wendy Crystal Sky (now showing her true colors and rightly proclaiming herself to be a red puppy and not a blue puppy) wards off an attack by the Big Dirty Foot by lying on it and squashing it flat.

January 11, 2008  

Aloha totters on the edge. The completely inadequate Green Creature hovers in the background as Aloha heads doggedly to the brink!

 

Again the Green Creature watches from the distance as the puppies lurch and roll towards the edge. Will no one avert the upcoming catastrophe!  The Great Kahuna is a determined big girl - will she be the first to tumble?

Brother Moondoggie cries out for help!

 

 

Very little can stop Pilgrim when she starts going. With determined squeaking and shrieking she heads straight for the edge!

 

 

Welcome, at least, behaves like a sensible puppy and freezes in place and awaits help.

 

 

Wendy Crystal Sky is saved from the edge by her devoted sibling who blocks her forward motion.

 

 

The Shriek is happy to report at this distressing juncture the family friend arrived and not only saved the puppies but chased our photographer off the property. The Shriek hopes that threats of a lawsuit for trespassing are only so much talk.
January 7, 2008  
 
 




 All content on this site is the property of Rebecca Elder. All rights reserved. Copyright by the author 2007-2009.

This site is designed and maintained by Susan Phillips. If you experience problems
when viewing the site,